Oh, my. It looks like a colorful expense report somehow leaked out yesterday to the media — and it belonged to the RNC. I just wanted to take a second out of my busy day to make sure that you guys understand what this is all about: simply put, it’s about stimulating — and titillating – the economy.
As the report clearly specifies, some of my colleagues, and yours truly, have been frequenting a nightclub called Voyeur West Hollywood in California. This is a venue that specializes in bondage, one of my personal faves… and not just in politics. So, justifiably, you might be asking yourself, “Why is this Michael Steele foo’ spending $2,000 a pop in fetish sessions, or logging nearly $16,000 in fancy hotels in Beverly Hills, or even ponying upwards of $30,000 in private transportation, all out of the party’s coffers?”
I’ll just give you the answer straight-up, no messin’ around: We’re trying to spend our way out of this recession, folks. By consuming nothing but luxury goods, triplicating our wasteful spending, and heavily investing in exotic entertainment services, we are going to put America’s battered economy back on the right track to material nirvana. So there you have it. There’s no need to thank us; it’s all in a day’s work here at your friendly neighborhood Grand Old Party.
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