The Grand Old Blog

I am home with the brave

My new memoir, Courage and Consequence: My Life as a Conservative Mouthpiece, has just hit the shelves, and I am delighted that the public will finally get to see the real story behind the glorious days of the Bush administration. Now, don’t get me wrong, I realize there have been numerous apologist accounts of this period written from a highly-partisan perspective, but I believe I will have broken new ground by publishing the first one with a title that alliterates. There was Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, and now there’ll be Courage and Consequence.

One of the issues I expound on in my book is the use of waterboarding and other torture techniques on prisoners of war held captive by the United States. After all, it goes well with the title: we all know it takes a great deal of Courage to write email outlines other memoranda from a comfortable office thousands of miles away suggesting that faceless foreigners be subjected to horrific treatment.

Moreover, we must consider the positive Consequence of these actions, and the effect it’s had on reducing terrorism: we now have a United States so reviled abroad that we no longer have to worry about pesky things like measuring how effective our intelligence gathering is. We will beat the enemy abroad, and anybody else who gets in the way, once we’ve effectively terrorized it.